and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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