Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
