: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
