My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize