the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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