I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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