So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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