Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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