All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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