it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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