Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
