So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
