Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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