I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize