I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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