She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
