awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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