Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bring me that man meat
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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