Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
