You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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