ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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