Your face is a jimmy john
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize