New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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