What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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