It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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