2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
