2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
