I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
