i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
