I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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