Plan B is the new Plan A
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
