remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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