I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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