Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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