420 ftw
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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