is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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