found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
