My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wear drunk well.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
