By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i think i just lost a toe
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
