Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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