So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize