Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
