K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
