i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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