It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
