Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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