when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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