Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
