so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
