I think im going to throw up on grandma
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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