Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
