im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
