Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
