just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
