Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
