So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
