FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
