Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
