didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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