I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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