It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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