Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
