I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I just put wine in my tea
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
