we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
